An Island On Fire
author is a resident of Berkeley, California.
Ours is a world ruled by terrible myths. Warlords, billionaires,
and charlatans erect towers and subdivide space. Horrors are imagined
We are born from nothing and drift to nowhere. There is no victory
But how strange and rare when sweet genius devotes itself to gardens
and songs and love. When the mind crumbles under paradox and the
body rises on the heat of discipline. How strange when the heart
opens and the moment is a lover's tear!
Picture an island on fire. See the brillant flames illuminate the
night sea. Hear the drums and the singing. Hear the wailing. Hear
the wind in the black trees.
I wandered up and down the ladders of experience. I saw the gates
of light swing wide open. I sat with Adi Da Samraj and was carried
to the edge of madness or freedom. I could not tell which it was.
I was torn. I was not worthy. I could not surrender at the deepest
place. My corruption and delusion were total and profound. He called
me, whispered to me, wander in my dreams. He articulated what I
saw but could not speak. He forgave me. He let me go back into the
lost worlds. He reminded me with laughter. He showed himself when
I did not expect it. He let me love him as life, as a seashore,
as a bird on a twig. He let me love him imperfectly, as the people
near me, as the world with all its sorrow.
I could not answer his calling. I fell short. He criticized me
but then kissed me. He was generous at a distance. He knew my weakness.
I am far from that island but I see it shining in the middle of
the black sea. I knew he had come. I tried to be with him. I was
made dizzy with my failing. He loved me anyway. He shone everywhere.
Beautiful Adi Da, you are the world and what is prior to it. You
are what remains when the world vanishes. You are the mystery that
is this new day. You are what beats our hearts. We are not as wise
as you. We struggle to surrender and try to understand.
Yet, as you have said, “If it is the truth, it is always already
I am so sad that I was never able to come around again. I am so
blessed to have sat with you in the past. I will not forget you.
I will creep on slowly, imperfect and dim, but seeing you everywhere.
I feel your presence now. I weep.
I feel your presence now. I rejoice. All that you said is true.
I will serve you the best I can. I thank you for your wondrous,
joyful, mad, brilliant, ecstatic, wild, stoic, austere, indulgent,
sublime, beautiful life and love.
May we all be free. May we all transcend the mortal news. There
is only God! None of us are worthy. Still, there is only God!
RETURN TO "ADI DA'S DIVINE
MAHASAMADHI AND ADIDAM IN PERPETUITY"