|The following "after Darshan"
accounts are mostly letters that were written to Avatar Adi
Da after occasions in which devotees received His Darshan,
as He transmitted His Divine State to them. These are just a
very small sample of literally thousands of such letters written
to Adi Da over the years or accounts written to describe such
occasions — some after occasions sitting with Him, others describing
their experience of His Transmission without having been in
His physical Company.
Felt You as “Bright” Light, Cascading Down From Infinitely Above
Adi Da, in Darshan today I felt You very clearly as “Bright” Light, Cascading
down from infinitely above, Blissfully Entering at the top of the head and the
ajna door, and Filling the frontal line and indeed the entire body-mind. My attention
was drawn up toward the ajna chakra, with the eyes spontaneously assuming the
upturned gaze, and my attention fixed on You, Beloved. I kept heart-feeling towards
You, and there was no doubt You Were Present as this Current of “Brightness” and
Love-Bliss-Fullness. As I continued to contemplate You, I saw that the whole room
was bathed in visible “Bright” Light, Radiating from You, my Lord. You Melted
all feeling, all perception into You, until the boundaries of the body seemed
to dissolve, and You literally Enveloped me utterly in Your Love and Light-filled
Divine Love-Bliss Fullness Seemed to Acquire the Room
You sat in Perfect Stillness tonight, Your Divine Love-Bliss Fullness seemed to
acquire the room, calming and conforming and absorbing everything into Your State
of profound equanimity. I noticed at one point that the usual sense of bodily
boundaries had dissolved. My head felt like an undifferentiated fluid mass distorted
out of shape but filled and surrounded by Your Radiant Light. When any form of
the self-contraction would arise, I could so easily press beyond it to You by
yielding the entire body-mind to You through the inhaled breath. At some point
I became so saturated by Your thick Love-Blissful Presence that I felt I could
not move. What a miraculous Gift Your Divine Incarnate Form is, my Lord, infinitely
multiplied to be the Perfect Lover to Your every devotee. I am unspeakably grateful
Felt You Above and Beyond and Everywhere
beheld Your Divine Form as You took Your Seat and was amazed at the Infinite Paradox
of Your Appearance — so human in Form, yet Infinitely more and beyond. I was immediately
affected by Your Unmovable Strength and Stillness. As the sitting progressed,
Beloved, only a shadow of self-awareness arose and fell again as Your Radiant
and Blissful Presence subsumed me in You. I felt You, invoked You, breathed You,
surrendered to You, loved and worshipped You, and received You in my heart and
throughout my body-mind. And I felt You above and beyond and everywhere also.
At times Your Presence was a Force, Pressing my eyes and attention upwards to
the ajna center and then up to the crown and above. But at other times, Your Divine
Presence was so thick and heavy that I could not open my eyes, even as You looked
at me, or lift my head as it fell forwards. I noticed all of this, but really,
Beloved, it was only You, and soon I was forgotten. Your Stillness was so profoundly
Deep. And I feel You now in that same depth, even as I animate the more peripheral
aspects of this body-mind.
Was Your Mindless, Blissful Happiness
Darshan You were extremely “Bright”. You sat as the center of the universe, spreading
Your Radiant Brilliant Light through all my cells into the room and beyond. All
was Your mindless, blissful Happiness. At times kriyas would arise as if from
some depth of past lives or another time. It felt as if You were melting me in
past, present, and future. You filled me with great energy in the circle, polishing
me clean. In each Darshan, You deepen my feeling-Contemplation of You and my knowledge
of You as the All-Doer. I feel You are increasing my ability to paint You through
my feeling, rather than depending on my eyes. During the week, You are much more
alive in me than every before. I am so grateful for this time with You, Dearest
Could Feel Your Divine Spiritual Body Pervading and Surrounding Me
I could feel Your Divine Spiritual Body pervading and surrounding me and I began
to surrender to You by breathing You down and staying open to Your Divine Blessing.
When You gazed in my direction, my Lord, I could feel Your Light shining forth
from Your eyes and I could barely hold Your face in focus as You are so bright.
I felt everything melting between You and me and I became You. Your image was
before my eyes and I melted into You.
Felt a Shaft of Energy in My Brain Core That Extended Upwards
Darshan occasion today was filled with Your Sweet Bliss. I was intoxicated by
Your Bliss and felt carried in a sort of gentle swoon. At times I felt a shaft
of energy in my brain core that extended upwards. I felt like You were showing
me how to go deeper into Your Bliss Presence and that it is simply a matter of
staying with You in an open or surrendered disposition. Thank You my Beloved Lord.
Experienced a Most Sublime and Embracing Calmness
filled the room with Your Living Radiance and overwhelming Love-Bliss with a Sweetness
and an Intensity, and You allowed me to “melt” into You, as everything else disappeared.
The quality of the occasion enabled me to enter into a deeper and more contemplative
state, and to literally feel wave after wave of Your Divine Transmission entering
and also pressing in and around this body-mind. You touched my heart with Your
Beauty and Your Blessing, and tears of joy at beholding the Vision of You, God
as Guru, filled my eyes and my heart over and over again. While feeling Your forceful
Siddhi, I also experienced a most sublime and embracing calmness that further
drew me into Your Divine Sphere.
“Brightness” Was Almost Blinding In Its Intensity
You took Your Seat I gazed upon Your “Brightness”, purely happy. Very shortly
I felt You were Working this physical body at various levels. I felt the body
being twisted, pulled, manipulated physically. Then I felt moved to a molecular
level of whirling particles within a defined space. I felt You Doing all of this.
When my form was a whirling mass of particles, You, Beloved Lord, would move through
this whirling mass. It was most exquisite pleasure as You moved through. Then
I was drawn in the same form to move through Your “Bright” Body. Your “Brightness”
was almost blinding in Its Intensity. The same exquisite pleasure followed this
movement. You alternated the movement slowly like an ecstatic dance.
following account — which
is not a letter to Adi Da —
was written by a devotee about a Darshan occasion with Him.
before Adi Da, I became aware of two things. One was the absolute
immense energy pouring out from His Being, which had the feeling
quality of radiance, bliss, all-brightness. At the same time I could
also feel Him as absolute stillness and restedness and peace – just
simply being. I sat immersed in this revelation, realizing this
is what is meant by Consciousness/Energy, or Conscious Light. Any
apparent contradiction of these two had completely dissolved as
I simply abided with and in Adi Da's transmission which was utter
satisfaction; nothing needing to be added or done. All problem,
all concern, all search, all separation completely outshone in this
heart-broken-open love-communion. This is what has been revealed
to me, over and over again, in Adi Da’s Company, both when sitting
physically before Him and likewise by locating and feeling His Spiritual
Presence and State. The more “I” (the thinking, doing, controlling,
reacting, and knowing person) am forgotten, the more this sensitivity
to what “Is” (which is so perfectly revealed by and as Adi Da) becomes
Eyes newsletter, Vol. 17/2, 2012
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