Evidence > Other
Entities and Realms > What Difference Does It Make
Difference Does It Make
How I Choose to Respond?"
conversation with Avatar Adi Da about a demon
Leroy Stilwell has been a formal devotee since 1976. He is one of the
founders of this website. You can read his biographical information in the About
in 1994, I began to have regular out-of-body experiences in meditation. This new
quality in meditation came about as the result of a very powerful reception of
Avatar Adi Da’s Spiritual Force while on retreat with Him earlier that year. In
that reception, His Spirit Force literally physically overwhelmed me as It drove
down through me from head to the bodily base, seeming to utterly remove all obstacles
in the frontal line, leaving, in that occasion, an unimaginable Force of Light
in the body that was itself Love and Joy, and Praise of Him.
for the next two years, in just about every occasion of meditation I would feel
His tangible Spiritual descent into my body (though not nearly as overwhelmingly
forceful), and when that descent would reach the perineal area, my consciousness
would “roll out of the body”, and I would find myself located literally outside
the body, even able to see my physical body and the room. I quickly had to learn
how to meditate from that position. This was a process that I chose to cooperate
For the first year whenever I was in this “out-of-body” condition
in meditation, I would have the clear sense of being watched by other entities
“out there” somewhere. I also felt like I was being stalked by one particular
dark entity. I often felt fear in relation to this dark entity, who seemed to
be pacing back and forth just at the limit of my perception of the space around
me, as if it were lurking in the darkness, waiting for its moment to do something
to me. I wondered sometimes if it were a “real” entity, or somehow only a projection
of my own fear. Whatever was going on, though, I had to somehow “work” to keep
it away. Even so, I knew that my responsibility even in that out-of-body place
was to be meditating, contemplating Avatar Adi Da, turning my attention to Him.
At some point, however, I came to feel that the effort to keep the entity
at bay was a burden in meditation that I no longer wanted. I thus made the decision
that in the next meditation I would relax my fear and relax my effort to keep
the dark entity away and allow whatever to simply happen. I was living on The
Mountain Of Attention Sanctuary, and thought to myself, after all, since
this was occurring in a Holy place, I should just trust that whatever would happen
could not, at least ultimately, be other than benign and appropriate.
next meditation as I sat down I began to feel Avatar Adi Da’s Spiritual Descent
into my body. I relaxed and allowed that to occur and soon my consciousness was
rolled out of the body. I immediately perceived the dark entity again, stalking
at the periphery. I could feel my fear and the effort associated with it that
was about keeping it at a distance. Instead of maintaining that effort, I very
simply, consciously, released the effort and fear and turned my feeling and attention
to Adi Da.
At that moment, I felt the entity “leap” from the periphery
over to me (“me” however seeming separate, still associated with the body) and
try to enter my body, like jumping into me through my back. However, as I witnessed
this happening, instead of experiencing anything actually enter the body, as it
contacted the surface of the body, the entity seemed to dissolve into a tingly
sensation of pleasurable energy. I had no idea how that could happen, or why,
or what it meant. This was totally unexpected. But after that, I was no longer
“stalked” in meditation, and I became capable of a much deeper level of reception
of Avatar Adi Da’s Spiritual Influence.
In 2004, Avatar Adi Da spontaneously
decided to gather with devotees and receive their questions about practice. For
about eight months, we would meet with Him twice a week for many hours at a time,
and devotees worldwide also would participate with Him via the internet. During
these gatherings I asked Him about this particular experience.
to Avatar Adi Da the experience as I have described it above. I asked Him if it
was okay to have decided to allow this entity to enter me. Was that foolish? Had
I endangered myself? Should I have done something different?
Adi Da responded had a profound effect on me. His response was for me a description
of the profundity of the relationship between the Master and devotee. It was a
reminder to me of the unimaginable and incomprehensible depth of personal regard
Adi Da has for His devotee (and, really, all beings). It showed me again how He
is immediately and incomprehensibly intimate with everyone, all the time.
Adi Da responded to my question simply by asking me what I did. He asked if when
I forgot the entity and my fear, did I turn to Him. I said “yes”. He said, “Well
then, what difference does it make how I choose to respond?”